A Little Nervous, but Here it Goes!

Hello!  Here goes my very first blog post!  I have barely written anything since high school, so I might be a little rusty, but I am looking forward to sharing my life with every one of you!

You'll be able to read about me in the "about me" part of this, but I might as well expand on it all to introduce myself.  I am twenty years old.  I have a husband (Wade) and two beautiful sons (Jude, 2 & Murphy 6 months). I was seventeen when I married my "high school sweetheart" (maybe I'm too young to use that term yet), as I was pregnant with our first son.  We were married on Valentines Day.  It was a small wedding with close family and friends.

We moved to Saskatoon, and lived there for the last six months of my pregnancy.  I hated it there.  I had only finished one semester of my grade twelve at school, and had to earn the rest of my credits at home.  All my friends were still in school, and too busy to visit, and Wade had already lived in Saskatoon for a while, so had his own group of friends.  I just tagged along wherever he went, and tried living a "grown-up" life among others who didn't have to grow up at all.

We lived in a little one-bedroom basement suite, and I found it hard adapting to being a house-wife.  It was also hard to get used to being alone all day while Wade was at work.  At school, lunch time was a time where I was surrounded by friends, and ate food made for me.  At home, I was in a dark little basement, at a table alone.  It wasn't exactly what I wanted.

A chain of unfortunate events lead us to moving back to my home town, and where Wade and I met, and where we were married.  It turned out to be a huge blessing in disguise.  Small towns were much cheaper to live in, and it was easier for Wade to find a job with so many connections around town.  We thought we had time to get settled, but at my last Dr. appointment, I was told my little Jude would be born.  It was exciting, but made the move even more stressful!

After Jude was born, I had lots of visitors, lots of baby gifts, and so many wall-posts on facebook.  Then everyone became distant.

This is why I decided to write a blog.  I know that if I open up and share things that I'm feeling, maybe others wont feel so alone.

I think it was normal for my friends to back off.  I might have done the same thing.   I wasn't like them any more.  I couldn't just drop whatever I was doing to go hang out, I wasn't applying at universities, and I always had a little "tag-a-long".  I'm sure they didn't know what to talk to me about.  They tried to visit every once in a while, but the honest truth is, they had more fun without me around.

I still wanted friends.  I should say, I still WANT friends.  I guess I still have some, and I never completely lost all of my high school friends.  They are still around, and just a text away, but our lives are still so different.  They are going to school and partying, and living a reasonably normal life, and I am at home watching cartoons with my boys, and changing diapers every few hours.  I hope they are doing well and are happy with where they are.  I know I'm happy.  I wouldn't change a thing!