Back in the Dating Game

I know I mentioned in the last post that I am married.  It's true.  I am happily married.  However, I am back in the dating game, but it is a whole different game than before!

I'm talking about making "mommy-friends".  Unless your best friend from high school has had a baby, or you're in a group for young moms, you probably know what I'm talking about.  It's awkward.  It's uncomfortable.  It makes you self-concious, and it is NOTHING like making friends in school.  When I made friends in school, we were usually in the same grade, and most likely in the same classes.  We all had a lot in common.  Now, in the "real world" when I'm trying to make friends, there are the moms who still want to party all the time, there are the ones who are single parents and busy with juggling work, and their kids, and there are the ones who are MUCH older than me who are successful, and have successful husbands, and big houses, and nice vehicles, and dinner parties.

I never know where I'll fit in.  That is where the awkward "dating" comes into play.  I find myself asking "Will she like me?", "Will our kids get along?", "Am I not good enough to be her friend?", "Does she think I'm boring?", and many other questions as well.  Maybe I just worry to much.  Maybe I'm just shy.  But it is really hard to make friends as a mom.  I am very fortunate that I live in the same town as my mom, so I have someone to talk to about any concerns I have about parenting, but it would be nice to have others to hang out with.

I had another young mom in town ask me over for coffee and that meant the world to me.  I cried when I read the invitation on facebook haha.  I feel stupid admitting that, but I did.  I was impressed that maybe she noticed I was lonely.  When you're a young mom, you try to look as put together as possible.  You make sure you're kids are dressed nicely, and clean, and are well-fed.  You make sure you have your hair and makeup done (because you still have to look good.  You're young!), and you try to keep your house clean.  Lastly, whenever you're out, you slap a smile on your face, and when people ask you how you're doing, you say "good" (even if what you want to say is "I'm lonely.  Please hang out with me!").  

What I'm getting to, is maybe if we all stop pretending everything is great, we'll see when someone else needs a friend.  My challenge to all of you is to ask another mom over for coffee, or tea, or anything really.  Even if she's much older, or much younger.  You might make a new friend, and so might your kids.  You never know who is hiding how lonely they are!